No Debate Please...Perplexed over flu shot

I have been researching vaccinations for the past 4 months. I have done a ton of reading online about various opinions. I am trying to stay open minded about the issue.

With all that said, my positions is not anti vaccination. Just delayed schedule from what they are recommending. Also, I DO believe Autism can occur from vaccinations on children who are already prone to certain neuro-based problems and carry a genetic or predisposition prior to injections. I do believe that with those predispositions (ie: mitochondria disorders, etc.) children can develop an ASD (Austism Spectrum Disorder).

When the twins were born, I was given very little say about what they received as far as shots, etc. due to their prematurity. Both were given the routine shots when born. I was glad being that Zachary endured three blood transfusions during his first weeks of life.
During the boys first years, Tanner showed extreme reactions to the vaccinations. Everytime he spiked fevers, had night terrors, became inconsolable with crying or afraid of his parents, I was told this was normal behavior post shot.
On Tanners 2nd birthday, he started to seize and was rushed to the ER following his DPT shots. They told me that he had an ear infection (why they gave him the shot knowing this, I'll never know) and that he had a febrile seizure due to the infection. He had 2 more febrile seizures over the next 4 months. They happened anytime he ran a high fever. He was labeled "allergy to DTP" in his chart.He has never had another vaccination, and he has never had another seizure.

With Asher I was a bit more informed, and alot more vigilant in knowing what he was getting and why. Because a doctor says so, has never been enough for me.
So here we are now. The N1H1 virus is making its rounds again. They are suggesting that everyone get immunized. My doctors office called to schedule us all for shots. I took the appointment in Nov, but I am really worried about it for Asher.
Im nervous about the thirmerosal (mercury) that is in the flu shot. But, I also dont want him to catch the N1H1 virus and have serious problems or death. Its a toss up right now.
I hate not having all the facts. I hate that people dont know more about mercury and its effects on children under 2 .
Dr. Sears has a book with an alternative vaccination schedule (you can find it in stores or online). This is what I have been doing. Im for vaccinations, but not all at once, spread out, and over a longer time period.
This doctor http://www.lewrockwell.com/miller/miller15.html has some interesting points (his credentials are at the bottom). He suggests that children under 2 not receive ANY immunizations. Start after they are 2 yrs. Im starting to feel like that is a good idea. I just dont want to be pressured by the government and medical society. I also dont want to get sucked into extremist frenzy...like they say "the devil loves a sinner as much as an fanatic".

Unfortunately, the most dangerous place to catch it, in my opinion, is at church. Asher will go to nursery in Oct. I worry, because there are people who will bring their kids to church, regardless of illness. Which makes me mad!
It wont be the end of the world if you miss church due to illness. Your ox is in the mire, people!!!

(making light of a past conference talk: we dont have a sign the says "perfect people only" over the door. But, I might make one saying "healthy children only" over the nursey door this time of year!)

Anyway, Im struggling with all of this. I want my kids to be safe, and healthy, without posing risks to other peoples kids as well. Its a hard place to be and I feel like Im stuck weighing the pros and cons of both decisions. UGGGG, its frustrating! I will keep my apt until I decide on Asher. Im just Bugged and needed to vent and document my feelings.