Please give me patience to deal with my blessings...

WARNING: This is murmuring at its pinnacle.... I apologize to everyone who has a perfect life, with perfect kids. But, I do not.
I do have wonderful children who are still learning and growing. And with time and love, I hope to not have many more entries like this. Being a mother, I am reminded that "all things shall be for thy good". I pray this is true.

So, to "keep things real" in my journal, I suppose I should write not only the good, but everything in between, right? In the process, this may make others feel better about their current situations. And maybe I will look back at this entry and laugh, but Im sure that wont be for many, many years.
The past 6 weeks has been a constant struggle with the twins. Im not sure if its just the age, or if they are boys. Could be both or neither. Needless to say, I have shed many tears over their behavior. Though I love them dearly, Im starting to feel like a failure of a parent.

Zachary refuses to sit in primary. He has told me several times "I hate to sit quiet. I don't like listening to people talk". The only thing that has kept his attention has been his teachers 8 mth old baby girl, who Zach adores. Every week, Mike ends up reprimanding him over it nearly every week. Mike spends so much time in the hall with kids during church. Im grateful that he usually gives me a break so I can enjoy the meetings to recharge myself for the upcoming weeks. I just feel bad that he is constantly dealing with this issue.

Tanner pulls Ashers hair every moment he can. Even when Asher is sitting in my lap, Tanner will come and rub his head hard. Even with threats of time out or bed he still cannot keep his hands to himself. It is like a compulsion. Im not even exaggerating...it is never ending. If Asher is near, Tanner is pulling or rubbing his hair. So, Asher is avoiding Tanner like the plague.

My children think they can pee in public, no matter where we are. Tanner pulled his pants down in the back yard, to water the neighbors flowers. He didnt feel like going to the bathroom in the toilet, so he peed next to his bed on the carpet.
The young women at the church roadshow practice came to tell me that Zachary was relieving himself outside on the church lawn. This has happened multiple times. In a variety of locations.

While I was at the gym, and Mike was putting the baby to bed, the twins got Hershey's syrup out of the fridge. They decided to take it to the basement. Dump it into the toilet, the sink, the floor in the bathroom. Draw on the playroom floor with it. Color on walls, and the TV. Then they tried to hide it by getting towels from the sorted laundry to cover it up. Of course, they choose the best, newest, whitest, towels in the bunch. Then they throw the empty bottle in the toy basket to hide it. It took me 3 hours of soaking, scrubbing, and crying to clean up the mess.

I left them in the bathtub while I dried and dressed Asher. When I returned, an entire roll of toilet paper was in the tub. The ceiling was dripping wet because they were throwing a washcloth up at it. The bath mat and walls were drenched. A bottle of shampoo had been emptied into the tub.

On Sunday, we visited my parents house. My youngest brother had finally gotten a pet (something a family with 10 kids doesn't do until they only have 2 kids in the house). A cute Guinea pig. A few hours later, he tearfully reported that the Guinea pig was dead. The twins had taken it out of its cage and "hurt" it. I wont go into it all, but it was brutal and awful. We had funeral. But, how do you explain dead to a four year old. So sad!!!

I love my children dearly...but DEAR HEAVENS! Will they ever grow out of this????